


How To Help Your Friends Get A Clue - An Instruction Manual

by mysticmajestic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Courtship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Meddling, Mutual Pining, Romance, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 23:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17233397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticmajestic/pseuds/mysticmajestic
Summary: Pidge, Hunk, and Allura are tired of watching Shiro and Lance pine for each other whilst doing absolutely nothing about it. So, as the great friends they are, they step in to resolve the issue themselves. Shenanigans ensue.





	How To Help Your Friends Get A Clue - An Instruction Manual

**Author's Note:**

> Hi PunkInPinkGlitter! I'm your Secret Santa!! I'm so sorry for the wait on this one: I was super busy around the Christmas period and ended up forgetting about this event. I haven't finished the story, but I've split it up into three parts in order to get this to you faster. Again, I am so sorry for the wait. I'll try to have a chapter up every Monday in my time zone.

“They’re fucking idiots.”

It was a testament to Hunk’s own frustration that he didn’t reprimand Pidge for her language. Across the room, Lance and Shiro stood together talking, barely any space between the two of them and from the jut of Lance’s hip and the angle that Shiro leaned down toward him they were obviously being flirty with each other. The problem? Neither of them believed that the other liked them.

‘Fucking idiots’ was an appropriate response to the situation.

“Remind me why we can’t interfere again,” said Pidge. They were working on repairs for the castle, having brought a spare chunk of the core engine out to fiddle with in the lounge and see how it ticked, and it was just their luck that Shiro and Lance had come in for their daily pine-fest. “They’re never going to get a clue by themselves.”

“Because,” Hunk explained patiently for what felt like the hundredth time, “if we do all the hard work for them, they’re never going to learn. They must see for themselves that they like each other. It’s gonna be a beautiful moment for them and we can’t ruin it.”

She snorted, deftly twirling a screwdriver around before she bent over their project once more. “We’re going to be dead of old age before they get a clue.”

 _Well,_ Hunk thought uncomfortably as he watched Lance laugh at something Shiro said, his body rocking with the force of it. In response, Shiro looked like he’d struck gold. _I can’t really argue with her on that one._

 

* * *

 

“He’s _incredible_ ,” Lance breathed, melting into the chair.

Hunk knew exactly who Lance was talking about, but just like a best friend would he asked, “Who?” and kept working on lunch. If he screwed up the garnish the whole dish would be _ruined_! They already lived on food goo and the threat of Coran’s cooking. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he made their subpar dietary situation even worse.

Waving his arms in vague motions as if that explained everything, Lance eventually managed to choke out, “Shiro! That’s who!”

Was that enough gemtrail seasoning? Hard to tell without sticking cutlery in it and ruining the aesthetic of the dish. And any gourmand worth their salt knew that you did _not_ mess with presentation. It was so wrong it was nearly blasphemous.

“Oh, really?” he asked distractedly. Having Lance seated at the kitchen table ranting to him about a love interest was nothing new; Hunk could stand there quietly for minutes at a time before Lance stopped for a validating nod or hum, and then he’d keep going.

“…there’s no way he’d be interested in someone like me.”

It was at that moment that Hunk’s brain decided to zone back into the conversation, and he quickly snapped his mouth closed before he agreed with the tail-end of that statement.

“What was that?” Hunk asked. “Didn’t catch that first part.”

“I said there’s no way that Shiro could be interested in someone like me, Hunk! Have you seen him? He’s so perfect and gorgeous. But I’m just…me.”

“ _Are you serious?_ ”

Lance reared back as if slapped. “H-Hunk?”

“Out of my kitchen!” Hunk put down the garnish and rounded the counter, ignoring the way Lance took a nervous half-step backwards. “Out, out! And get Pidge to come here, got it?”

“Hunk, what did I say?” Lance yelped as Hunk began pushing him out. “I’m going, I’m going! But can you at least tell me what I did wrong?”

“Never mind that,” snapped Hunk. “Just get Pidge for me. And don’t come back in here until dinner is ready!”

As the door whooshed shut behind Lance, Hunk wondered if that had been too strong of a reaction. But he was tired of Lance devaluing himself, placing others on a pedestal whilst he chose to eat the metaphorical dirt as if that’s what he deserved. He couldn’t stand how Lance treated himself sometimes, so he, as the best friend, was going to do something about it.

…after he perfected the garnish. That could make or break the whole dish, and Hunk was not going to let his frustrations ruin dinner for everyone else.

Just as he added the right amount of gemtrail seasoning and declared, to himself, that it was done and as perfect as he could make it, the door whooshed open again.

“Lance said you wanted to see me?” Pidge asked. She had her laptop tucked under one arm.

“You remember what I said about not intervening between Lance and Shiro?” asked Hunk. “Remember when I said that we should let them realise their feelings are mutual on their own terms?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Good. Ignore all of that, Pidge, because we’re intervening. We’re going to get those pining idiots to realise they love each other. What’s the best way you know of to hook two people up?”

A devious little grin spread across Pidge’s cheeks. “I know just the thing.”

 

* * *

 

“I’m not sure this is a great idea,” said Hunk nervously. “I want them to confess their love to each other, not end up _dead_.”

They were in the control room. Before coming about Ixion, a fiery inferno planet, they had been scouring the quadrant for empty planets they could send Lance and Shiro to so that they could finally, finally confess their love and leave the rest of them in goddamn _peace_. But Pidge had a mind to choose the most dangerous uninhabited planet there was, and Hunk was regretting letting her take charge of this operation.

“What do you mean? It’s perfect!” Pidge waved her arms around emphatically. “Look, it’s a planet only the Red Lion can get to. If we can just convince Allura to—”

A new, regal voice sounded behind them. “Convince Allura to what?”

They whipped around, yelping, like two children caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Standing behind them with her hands on her hips was Allura, a supremely unimpressed expression on her face.

“Allura!” said Pidge. “Just the person we wanted to see!”

But Allura would not be swayed by Pidge’s woeful attempt at innocence. “You better have a good explanation as to why you want to send two of my paladins to Ixion. That planet, as uninhabited as it may seem, has lava monsters hidden within its molten core. They sense and destroy anything that lands on it.”

Hunk’s stomach dropped in horror. He had been about to send his best friend _there_? “Pidge, we’re aborting the mission.”

Pidge waved him away. “Hang on—”

“ _What_ mission?” demanded Allura. “Continue to try my patience and I will ban you from operating machinery not tied to your own lion, Pidge.”

Oh, now that was a threat if there ever was one.

The words left Pidge in a rush. “We’re tired of Shiro and Lance pining after each other, so we thought we’d send them to an uninhabited planet under the guise of a really important mission, so that they’d finally confess their feelings and the rest of us can live in this castle in goddamned peace!”

Allura turned to Hunk, who flinched back on reflex under her cool gaze. “Is this true?”

Tongue-tied, Hunk nodded emphatically.

“Hmm.” Allura pursed her lips in thought for a moment, then looked up through her lashes to give them a rather playful look. “They have been rather annoying, haven’t they?”

“Yes!” shouted Pidge, almost leaping from her chair. “I can’t stand it anymore. Those two pining idiots need our help because they won’t get a clue on their own!”

“W-will you help us?” Hunk asked. “I don’t want to send them to that planet if they could be killed, but we have to do _something_.”

“Leave it to me,” said Allura confidently. “I have a feeling Altean courting rituals will be the key to sorting out this mess.”


End file.
